Beware of the “Blankies”!
by: Shantel Brunner
Years ago, I had a friend that I was “talking” to who decided to go back to the mother of his child after dragging her name through the mud. He said that the woman was like having a child and that he had to raise her… yet he went back to her. If it’s worth it to you to save, then I applaud you. This situation that I experienced created my theory on why we leave people, at times dragging them through the mud, and then return to them. I call this relationship the “blankie relationship”.
Your blankie is all that you know, all you have. You sleep with it, you eat with it, and you never go anywhere without it. It is all you are and all that you want to be. Then one night, you can’t find your blanket. The powers that be took it or you lost it. You go and try to find another blanket… maybe a thick, fluffy, furry one. Some you liked, some you didn’t. But you n
ever really found one that made you feel like your old blankie did. So instead of getting acclimated to the new blankies, you go back to the old one. By this time, you’re older and so is the blankie. The blankie is old, stained, busted, torn, tattered, got holes and runs in it. It’s not the same fresh newness that you remember. Yet, you still go back. Why? Because its familiar, comfortable and already broken in. You know it and it knows you. There’s not much work that you must put in.
If you keep going back to the same fool that you feel like wasn’t man/woman en
ough for you, or too dirty, too stingy, too this, that, and the third. 9 times out of 10 they haven’t changed. They aren’t going to change. Why? Because you came back to them while they were still the exact same person you walked away from. Psychology dictates that you are who you are by the age of 25. So, if they haven’t changed their ways yet, they aren’t going to. You can always change habits but who you are as a person is set in stone after 25. There is going to come a day where you’re going to realize that this blankie that you know and love is no longer in its glory days and those days will never return. You’re going to realize that this old baby blanket is trash. Believe me… say it with me: THE BLANKET IS TRASH!
Now, I’ve been on both sides of the blankie relationship. I’ve been the “new blanket”, as shown in the example at the beginning. But as of 3 years ago, I was the person who kept running back and forth between my “blankie” and those new plush, fluffy, furry blankets. My blankie and I went through it, you hear me?! THROUGH IT! Torn, tattered, and full of holes, I kept being encouraged to throw it away and get a newer, fluffier blanket that could keep me, cover me, protect me, and fill me with the warmth that I emit out. So, I did that… and it was cool… I loved my light bright dang near white new plush, fluffy, furry blanket. But why is it that the smallest blemish causes us to then go looking for that friggin’ BLANKIE?! For nearly three years, back and forth I went between my tried and not-so-true blankie and not-so-tried and just as equally not-so-true new fluffy, furry blanket. Every time I would pick up “blankie”, it would have a new hole, new tatter, new blemish. I would realize even though I loved it, it was failing to keep me warm. So, I would go back to the newer one, until I had to return it back to where I got it from. It cost more than what it was worth. Not too long after t
hat, I went to try to “fix” the blankie that had been through it all with me. Well, when I did that, it finally disintegrated. Chilllllleeeee…. that thing fell apart and went to dust. I was crushed, and the tears kept flowing… but I felt this sense of pure and utter RELIEF. One day, I was introduced to this new blanket. Comfortable and strong. Thick and full like a down feather filled comforter. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy. Gave me my old blankie vibes without the struggle holes and tatters. It has blemishes. It can rub me the wrong way some days and leaves feathers everywhere. It’s not perfect. However, amid its
imperfections, it covers me, keeps me warm, and it withstands anything that comes up against it or US.
One day you going to step out on faith, walk into the store, see a nice, fresh, soft furry blanket. You’re going to take it home and wrap yourself up in it and realize you weren’t running back to your blankie because you it made you safe and made you feel warm. You remembered it in its newness. It was the memories that made you return. Memories are sweet, but they are just that. Stop running back to what was when you know for a fact that it cannot be that ever again.
Not saying that flames can’t be rekindled. Just make sure your lighting the fires for the right reasons and not just for a season.
Tell a Friend… smooches