I wore Cat Ears today for no reason at all! I happened to put them on and loved how i looked and felt! I know what your saying “Kisses… SO?” But TRUST this is a big deal for me… and people like me
You see in the past, I wouldn’t just wear things that made me feel good, I wore things I THOUGHT made me look good to OTHERS! My clothes weren’t MINE, they were pieces of items I purchased for acceptance. I would look in the mirror and not see me I would see these clothes that are “in” and how i hated my body in them! That’s when it began Th obsession of being wanted by people.
I remember never wanting to leave the house with some sort of makeup, or hair weave or anything! I wanted the person everyone saw to be ACCEPTED! I wanted eyes on me, I wanted people talking. WHO CARES If i didn’t like them or not THEY HAD TO LIKE ME!
Shit got hard when I started feeling like the “Looks” I wanted weren’t positive, or at least that’s what i began telling myself in my head. It went from me loving the attention for this costume i was wearing, to feeling like EVERYONE was judging me and i didn’t want it anymore. I started feeling like What can I do?!?! Why dont they Like me?! I was seriously making myself depressed trying to impress people I didn’t even know!
I hated everything about me but masked it with a smile and a happy persona! It was exhausting wondering what he or she would say about what I’m doing with my hair or clothes! I remember putting on my costume and than wondering if they would ever finally catch on to the fact that I’m not who I portray I am, I was starting to forget who i was…… OH BUT THAN…..
I found spirituality. Meditation, yoga, crystals they started to help my lift the veil i was hiding under. I started feeling more comfortable with me! I started noticing my flaws and LOVING THEM! (Weird) When I looked in the mirror i started smiling more Because the smile was everything, in a matter of months, i was a new person. THIS GIRL Didn’t give a shit about HOW you feel about my appearance, If i was happy and comfortable than that was enough for me. I would wear my wigs without feeling like someone will be wondering whats underneath or if they could clock my hairline. I started wearing LESS makeup and feeling MORE BEAUTIFUL! I started Wearing MORE MAKEUP with No fucks on someone saying its too much.
Its such a FREEING FEELING I never thought I would have, when you unsubscribe to the matrix and do what makes you happy. I know so cliche right, no matter HOW Many times somebody says it, until you actually listen and let it apply, its just gonna sound like a bunch of nonsense.
Whats even crazier is once i turned that switch off, PEOPLE PAID ME MORE ATTENTION than before! I mean when your personality is DOPE AS HELL its not that hard, but I promise i never knew how awesome i was without my costume! Its amazing feeling like I can put it on and take if off at MY WILL and not feel like its a necessity! I love the freeing feeling of knowing someone is probably discussing you and feeling no obligations to give a fuck about it! WOAH!
Stop letting irrelevant ass people tell you who YOU ARE! Stop trying to be accepted by people who dont even accept who they are! Stop caring worrying about other clocking you DO YOU LIVE FOR NOW They wanna spend this precious time disusing you PLEASE DO. I Now live my life knowing that I’m putting out nothing but positive love (for self and others) and high frequencies. If that’s not whats being conveyed to you, the problem isn’t me, its you and your outlook and thats none of my business.
So as I stated earlier; I wore Cat Ears today
for no reason at all! I happened to put them on and loved how i looked and felt! 🙂