You ever see a picture and instantly remember the feeling?! I cant seem to remember what the conversation was or what exactly the moment was about but I do remember feeling….safe FINALLY. As i sit here and randomly dwell on my love life, I start to reflex on the 3 men who impacted my life.
For the most part my love life was pretty standard, I didn’t really start dating until after High School (my mom didnt play that ish!) My first Bf, i thought he was the world, he was literally the first guy to actually show me attention. It was totally some puppy dog love cause when i look back at it now, He swooped me off my feet with basic ish like remembering i like mac sauce on Burgers, he touched me in the right places(tee hee) He made me feel GROWN! I had a BF i was banging go me! go me! I started outgrowing him really fast, he was so hood and i was so Not, it just couldn’t work. What I Learned: there is more to a person than what you see, my first impression of him was No hes a Project nigga, he turned out to be so smart caring funny and cool.
My Second Bf WHOA he taught me that niggas ain’t shit (sorry guys) I truly thought i was in deep love with him, he was my first FUN BF. We would go to parties together get drunk and go back to his house and fuck the rest of the night. At 21/22 THAT WAS LIFE! We could party together, we could have fun together, no way hes not the one right?!?! HA! What I Learned: just because they scream they love you doesn’t mean its true. The hol time i was head over heels he was for everyone…not just me… talk about ego CRUSHED!
I left my second bf the lowest i ever been ever! I lost all confidence in myself, he had me wondering every night what was wrong with me and why wasn’t I enough. I felt lost low and unlovable, like i would never find someone who truly loved me…Enter Him. My Last Impact able relationship The one that changed it all. Our start was an interesting one to say the least But boy was it worth it. I look at old pictures and instantly remember how i felt. LOVED! He made me feel LOVED, And safe, and desirable and smart and…. Well you get the point! He was the one who took from my lowest and help me become the woman i am today. No this one wasn’t easy either! But the bad was outweighed by the nights he held me and we would talk forever, or the times he had confidence in me while i held on to self doubt! He also gave me the greatest gift in human form (i will be always grateful). He was so tall and sexy (and didn’t even know it) but angry and hurt all in one. What I Learned: Some of the happiest people are the saddest inside No matter how many times a person tell you your amazing you can do anything if you don’t believe it, it will never come true. I also learned to choose ME over everything.
These three relationships were so vital in making the person i am today. Sometimes we think EVERYONE Is our soul mate (meaning forever love) But no some people can be just that a soul mate, someone who elevates you, help you build yourself thru hurt and heart attack, they help you open your eyes to YOUR NEEDS and WANTS. YES they can be your soul mate but soul mates aren’t forever, we outgrow them, that’s what we are suppose to do once the lesson they were suppose to teach you has been learnt, its time for u to shed that stage and keep it pushing. Its nothing wrong with choosing yourself and your happiness, if they are really your soul mate, they would want nothing less from you.
Now that a bish is single(oh yeah!) and learning to be alone, I’m glad to sit back and reflect on the men who helped shape me, good or bad I appreciate and love them all! I challenged you to sit and think about the 3 “good ones” ; the 3 relationships that made u into the person you are, good and bad! Who knows you might find out more about yourself than you thought! 🙂